第4章 Introduction: Beyond War and Peace

    OURTWOMOSTONwaystoaddresshestsocialchallengesaretheextremeones:aggressivewarandsubmissivepeaeitherofthesewaysworks.Wetry,usingunsormoneyorvotes,topushthroughant,regardlessofwhatotherswant-butiablytheotherspushback.Orwetrynottopushanythingonathatleavesoursituationjustasitis.

    Theseextremewaysareextremelyon,onallscales.Oneonone,ushyorflictaverse.Atwork,webebossyoalongtogetalong."Inourunities,wesetthingsupsothattheyaretheaobe,orweabdicate.Innationaffairs,wemakedealstogetourway,orweletothershavetheirway.Iioions-whetherthechallengeisclimategeortraderulesorpeatheMiddleEast-wetrytoimposeoursolutionsoneveryoneelse,orweegotiateendlessly.Theseextreme,onwaystoaddresshestsocialchallengesusuallyfail,leavingusstudinpain.Therearemanyexceptionstothesegeneralizationsabouttheprevaleheseextremeways,butthefactthattheseareexceptionsprovesthegeneralrule.Weneed-andmanypeoplearewondeveloping-different,unonwaysofaddressingsocialchallenges:waysbeyondthesedegeiveformsofeace.

    Acharacteri,JonathanLarson'sBroadwaymusicaboutstrugglingartistsandmusisinNewYorkCity,says,"Theoppositeofwarisn'tpeace,it'screation!"[1]Toaddresshestsocialchallenges,weneedawaythatisherwarnorpeace,butcollectivecreation.Howweco-createnewsocialrealities?

    TWOFUALDRIVES

    Toco-createnewsocialrealities,wehavetoworkwithtwodistindamentalforcesthatareintension:powerandlove.Thisassertionrequiresanexpnationbecausethewords"power"and"love"aredefinedbysomanydifferentpeopleinsomanydifferentways.InthisbookIusetwounusualdefinitionsofpowerandlovesuggestedbytheologianandphilosopherPaulTillich.Hisdefinitioological:theydealwithwhatandwhypowerandloveare,ratherthanwhattheyenableorproduce.Iusethesedefinitionsbecausetheyringtruewithmyexperienceofracticeisrequiredtoaddresstoughchallealllevels:individual,group,unity,society.

    Tillichdefinespoweras"thedriveofeverythinglivingtorealizeitself,withincreasingiyaensity."Sopowerinthissehedrivetoachieveone'spurpose,togetone'sjobdoogrow.Hedefinesloveas"thedrivetowardstheunityoftheseparated."[2]Soloveinthissehedrivetoreedmakewholethatwhichhasbeeorappearsfragmehesetwowaysoflookingatpowerandlove,ratherthanthemoreonideasofoppressivepowerandromanticlove(represehecoverbythegreherose),areatthecoreofthisbook.

    OURFULLWORLD

    Weotaddresshchallengesonlythroughdrivingtowardsself-realizationoronlythroughdrivingtowardsunity.Weodoboth.Oftenweassumethatallittakestocreatesomethingnew-whetherinbusinessorpoliticsorteologyorart-ispurposefulnessorpower.Thisisbecauseweoftenassumethatthetextinwhichwecreateisayworld:anopenfrontier,awhitespace,abnkvas.Ihisassumptionisincorrect.

    Let'slookatahistoricalexample.In1788,BritishsettlersarrivedinAustraliaandenteredtheindigenouspeoplewhohadarrived40,000yearsearlier.Thishistoryillustratesnotonlythecearepreneurialismofpeoplewillingtotravecrosstheglobetocreateanewsocialreality,butalsothehumanandecologicaldevastationthatthispimiproduorethantwoturies,theflictbetweelersandabinalpeoplesinAustraliawasframedintermsofthedoeofterranullius,aRomaermthatmeans"ndbelongingtonoone,"or"emptynd."Itwasnotuntil1992thattheHighCourtofAustraliaruledthatthetihadinfaeverbeenterranullius,andthatthemodern-daysettlershadtoworkoutanewwayoflivingtogetherwiththeabinalpeople.

    Noneofuslivesinterranullius.retendthatourworldisempty,butitisnot.Ourearthisincreasinglyfullofpeopleandbuildingsandcarsandpilese.Ouratmosphereisincreasinglyfullofcarbondioxide.Oursocietyisincreasinglyfullofdiverse,strong,petingvoidideasandcultures.Thisfullnessisthefualreasonwhy,ioaddresshestsocialchallenges,weoemploynotonlypowerbutalsolove.

    Achalleoughwhenitisplexinthreeways.[3]Achallengeisdynamicallyplexwhencauseandeffectareinterdepeandfarapartinspadtime;suchchallengesotsuccessfullybeaddressedpiecebypiece,butonlybyseeiemasawhole.Achallengeissociallyplexwheorsinvolvedhavedifferentperspectivesandis;suchchallengesotsuccessfullybeaddressedbyexpertsorauthorities,butonlywiththeeoftheactorsthemselves.Andachallengeisgeivelyplexwhenitsfutureisfuallyunfamiliaranduermined;suchchallengesotsuccessfullybeaddressedbyapplyipractice"solutionsfromthepast,butonlybygrowingnew,"practice"solutions.

    Thefullnessofourworldproducesthisthreefoldplexity.retendthatweareindepeandthatwhatwedodoesnotaffectothers(andwhatothersdodoesnotaffectus),butthisisnottrue.retendthateverybodyseesthingsthesameway,orthatourdifferencesberesolvedpurelythroughmarketorpoliticalalpetition,butthisisnottrue.Andretendthatwedothingstheayshave,orthatwefirstfigureoutandtheethecorreswer,butthisisnottrue.

    Wheendthatourworldisemptyratherthanfull,andthatourchallengesaresimpleratherthanplex,wegetstuck.Ifwewanttogetunstuck,weoaowledgeourinterdependence,cooperate,andfeelourwayforward.Wehereforetoemploynotonlyourpowerbutalsoourlove.Ifthissoundseasy,itisnot.Itisdifficultanddangerous.

    TWOPITFALLS

    Powerandlovearedifficulttoworkwithbecauseeachofthemhastwosides.Powerhasageivesideandadegeiveside,and-lessobviously-lovealsohasageivesideandadegeiveside.FeministschorPaoMelchioripoitomethatweseethesetwosetsoftwosidesifwelookathistoricallystructedgenderroles.Thefather,embodyingmasepoesouttowork,todohisjob.Thegeivesideofhispoweristhathecreatesomethingvaluableintheworld.Thedegeivesideofhispoweristhathebeesofocusedonhisworkthathedenieshisetohiscolleaguesandfamily,andsobeesarobotoratyrant.

    Themother,bytrast,embodyingfemininelove,staysathometoraisethechildren.Thegeivesideofherloveisthatshegiveslife,literallytoherchildandfigurativelytoherwholefamily.Thedegeivesideofherloveisthatshebeesoidentifiedwithandembragofherchildandfamilythatshedeheirandespeciallyherownneedforself-realization,andsostuntstheirandherowngrowth.[4]

    Loveiswhatmakespeiveinsteadofdegeive.Poweriswhatmakeslovegeiveinsteadofdegeive.Powerandlovearethereforeexactlyplementary.Inorderforeachtoachieveitsfullpotential,itheother.Justastheterranulliusperspectiveoffogonlyonpowerisanerror,sotooisthepopperspectivethat"allyouneedislove."

    PsychologistRolloMay,afriendofPaulTillich,warhedangersofdisegpower(whichhereferredtoas"will")fromlove."Loveandwill,"hewrote,"areinterdepeandbelongtogether.Botharejunctiveprocessesofbeing-areagouttoinfluehers,molding,f,creatingthesciousnessoftheother.Butthisisonlypossible,inaninnersense,ifoneopensothesametimetotheinflueheother.Willwithoutlovebeaniputionandlovewithoutwillbeesseal.Thebottomthendropsoutofthejunctiveemotionsandprocesses."[5]May'sjunctiveprocessesalsooperateonasociallevel,andweeffeviolentsocialgeonlyifwegagebothourpowerandourlove.

    Ohegreatestpractitionersofnonviolentsocialge,MartinLutherKingJr.,wasbothapracticactivistandaspiritualleader.Hedemonstratedawayofaddressingtoughsocialchallehatwentbeyondaggressivewarandsubmissivepeace,therebytributingtothecreationofnewsocialrealitiesiedStatesandaroundtheworld.InhisstpresidentialspeechtotheSouthernChristianLeadershipference,King-drawingonhisdoctoralstudiesofTillich'swork-emphasizedtheessentialplementaritybetweenpowerandlove.[6]"Powerwithoutloveisrecklessandabusive,"Kingsaid,"andlovewithoutpowerisseandanemic."[7]

    MyownexperiehepasttwentyyearsentirelybearsoutKing'sanalysis.Powerwithoutloveisrecklessandabusive.Ifthoseofusengagedinsocialgeacttorealizeourselveswithnizingthatweandothersareinterdepeheresultwiltbestbeiiveandatworst,oppressiveorevengenocidal.Andlovewithoutpowerisseandanemic.Ifwereizeourinterdependendacttounifywithothers,butdosoinawaythathobblesourownorrowth,theresultwiltbestbeiuandatworst,deceitfullyrergofthestatusquo.

    Powerwithoutloveproducesscorched-earthwarthatdestroyseverythingweholddear.Lovewithoutpowerproduceslifelesspeacethatleavesusstupce.Bothoftheseareterribleoutes.Weofierway.

    Inhisspeech,Kiontosay,"Thiscollisionofimmoralpowerwithpowerlessmoralitystitutesthemajorcrisisofourtime."[8]Thiscollisiontinuesbecauseourporizationofpowerandlovetinues.Inoursocietiesandunitiesandanizations,andwithineachofus,weusuallyfinda"po,"whichpaysattentiontoisanddifferences,anda"lovecamp,"whichpaysattentiontoesandonalities.Thecollisiowees-intheworldsofbusiness,politidsocialge,amongothers-impedesourabilitytomakeprogresshestsocialchallenges.

    AIVE

    Powerandlovestandatrightanglesanddelihespaceofsocialge.Ifwewanttogetunstudtomovearoundthisspace-ifwewanttoaddresshestchallenges-wemustuandandworkwithbothofthesedrives.

    Ratherthanachoiadeonewayoranother,powerandlovestituteapermadilemmathatmustbereciledtinuouslyaively.Thisreciliationiseasyintheorybuthardinpractice.CarlJungdoubtedwhetheritwasevenpossibleforthesetwodrivestocoexistinthesameperson:"Wherelns,thereisnowilltopower;ahewillpowerisparamount,loveisg.Theoneisbuttheshadowoftheother."[9]HisstudentRobertJohnsonsaid,"Probablythemosttroublesomepairofoppositesthatwetrytorecileisloveandpower.Ourmodernworldistorntoshredsbythisdiy,andonefindsmanymorefailuresthansuccessesiempttorecilethem."[10]

    Ihaveseenmanyexamplesofrecklessandabusivepowerwithoutlove,andmanyexamplesofseandanemiclovewithoutpower.Ihaveseenfarfewerexamplesofpowerwithlove.Toofewofusarecapableofemployingpowerwithlove.Moreofusolearn.

    Ifwearetosucceedinco-creatingnewsocialrealities,weotchoosebetweenpowerandlove.Wemustchooseboth.Thisbookexploreshow.